Welcome to
The (Sic) File
a compilation by Blue Hill of Blue's Blog
"... When are you do? ..."
... and other misspellings and catachreses gleaned from the various fertility, pregnancy, and baby-related bulletin boards that I visit. Some of these are just funny typing or spelling errors, others are simply bad, bad grammar . Many of them are the result of women who never read books. They have heard words and phrases but have never read them (an excellent example is 'voila').*
These are actual posts (cut and pasted exactly as is) by real women who are raising children. Enjoy!
"... and - walla! - it was over ..." also " add an egg, Wha-la!
"... I think your right to bring a book to the hospital ..."
"... I had no nauses or adversions to food ..."
"... except for an adversion to red meat ..."
"... birth is an intament time ..."
"... that really struck a cord ..." (I imagine her chopping wood)
"... not like I was use to ..."
"... get a string and measure you're waste ..."
"... then I got devorsed ..."
"... I get saticita..." (she apparently means sciatica and has never heard it pronounced)
"... for my piece of mind ..."
"... I felt like I had to pea ..."
"... suppose to have less then before ..."
"... mothers have great instints ..."
"... she adviced me too call ..."
"... whoa is me... "
"... it's a faze there going thru ..."
"... he was kinda veg about it ..." (I'm assuming she means vague)
"... it last's forever ..."
"... I appreciate your advise ..."
"... a urinary track infection ..."
"... all these caddy women ..."
"... I'm an emotional reck ..."
"... no progress in site ..."
"... my doc dont want me to go overdo ..."
"... they loose there muscus plug ..." (your mucus plug is lost right before labour)
"... I don't know about post pardum ..."
"... sorry to be so graffic ..."
"... this shows how much patients i have ..."
"... there was a scar left at the sight ..."
"... congradulations! ..."
"... doesn't seem to phase them ..."
"... bare with me ..."
"... he's so 'flemmy' ..."
I have to make due
Regardless to say
Grant it, this is our first
Any babys like mine?
fed her cerial
He dont crawl
in less it effects them
dont take it for granite
I past my test
it is nerve wrecking also: it is nerve racking
Im appolled
what sex did you perdict?
perparing siblings
Im taking a pole (!!) also hears another name pole
I use it to reassure me
wright down the names
its the route of all problems (root?)
at the church bizarre
well call me a scruge (Scrooge)
he says Im an engrate
formally known as (she means formerly)
Im about to loose my mind
there not suppose to have eggs
my baby has drank juice since
has a whole in his heart
Coodos to you! (Kudos)
in the passed 10 months
its kaos around here (chaos)
looked at the chormazones
my MIL gets fowl with her mouth (her Mother-In-Law is a birddog?)
umbilical chord
and every thing else bazaar that you here
your not alone
my unconscious playing tricks
is there any other mothers like me? whos DH dont change dippers
my anxiety is threw the roof also Im going threw the same thing
Ive finally come to piece with the fact
just for the symbolicness of it
its just an old wise tale about (old wives tale)
thats just to bazare
where does everyone live at?
it was the most funniest thing
some people are uneducated and krass (do you see any of these people in the mirror?)
its a pulled nerve or something (ouch!)
through the noodles in a pot (throw)
we would go fist to cuffs on it (Eh?)
how to make lasania?
warning, this is grafic
it wrecks havok on my immunes system
must have impinged a nerve or something
my sudo boyfriend and me
I needed a brake
Jason has namonia
at my whits end
my grandma, of whom I was very close to
the worse kind of staff infection
she went her marry way
its a waist of money
what do youre babies where to bed?
this is my second time been a mom
she said I was going to miscarriage anyway
she has the asma
(he) Loves to do summer saults
she starts scweeling and shirking out loud
do to the fact it was so lite
(she was a recovering alcoholic) but she fell off the bandwagon
I just feel jipped
(he was dressed up as) the abonibal snowman (this is my fave of the whole list!)
we may be the biggest wooses (wusses?)
it is aggervating
don't know if it was a quincidence
I don't know what to cateragize myself as (a moron, maybe?)
my last ounce of patients
she makes her presents known
if I just had some piece and quiet
My family was my biggest critics ..
I made a pack that we would wait
lucky in recieving my hammy downs (hand-me-downs)
a little juice may peak her interest
boys who absolutely reek havoc
did nothing to curve the pain
I have always wore contacs
I want to loose a little more wait
I have always been a little bit paranoidal (I would be too)
I am self independent and so is (my husband)
How frusterating
(the baby is named) after my father whom has past away
(we) are sticking to our bedtime ruteen strickly!
samwhiches (chicken,turkey, bolgna,
salmi )
cheese, mayo , butter( on the samwhich)
(lunch options for this womans
children)
(being a man,) he doesn't pick up on our suttle queues
I hope I don't jinks myself
how Much do youre babies way?
it was from the harmos in The Pill (hormones)
they got all siked (psyched)
I poured through the messages
They had the gaul to ask her
too much stress over prompt and circumstance .
I can still smell that fowl odor! (refering to vomit, so the person had eaten chicken?)
I get nauseas ever time I think about it
nothing like child abusing your kid in public, LOL. (WTF?)
Its given me strength to except Gods plan for me
I too turned into a (pregnancy testing) feen!!! (fiend)
just a few weeks till we have our babys.
I am sitting here reading all this and getting nauceous (Im sure she means nauceated)
for the passed 2 days have had cramps
I wish it was cut and dry...meaning...easy! (note: this person is a teacher)
I speratically check my temps
many of us here have similar stories exactly like yours (my second favourite entry!)
neither of us had babys prior before that
I've been seeing these oober faint lines (on a home pregnancy test)
me and (daughter) ran errons all day yesterday
after we have a kid we are ferdal merdles haha (she means Fertile Myrtles)
People closes to you have the least coman sence or cutesy to stay away when sick (I would stay away even well)
they have reeked havick on the house
have come up with nodda (nada)
I try my hardest to keep everything "honkey dorie"
About the lack of socialism (when homeschooling. She means socialization. Yep, she is homeschooling her kids)
he was called Dennis the Minis
a few odds and ins for the baby
"...horomones are still runnin rampid ..." (and affecting your spelling!)
"...I'm moving and have ran out of boxs ..." (she signed herself 'in the mist of packing' ... idiots in the mist?)
"...if i tell dh that (I'm ovulating) now he will feel pressurized ..."
"...I was in the full throws of labor ..."
"...I guess hine sight is 50/50 ..." (???)
"...I am trying to nip it in the butt right now ..."
"...I have been like this for the passed 10 days ..."
I find my self in a lost for words (me too!)
"...I was completely exhausted even more so than usual ..."
...
Does that make any since?
And finally an amusing sentiment (on Mothers in Law): "I love her, but I also love the 800 miles between us..."
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*Disclaimer: This compilation is in no way meant to represent EVERY mom on these boards. They are simply amusing. Everyone makes typing mistakes some of these are just that. I know many of these people and some are smart, strong, witty women. Not a few are extremely well written. The majority are just average people. But like most communities there are a few who are self-centered, narrow-minded, poorly raised, poorly written, ignorant, and just plain DUMB. Some of those women are quoted here.