Monday, June 23, 2008

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits


George Carlin passed away yesterday.



"Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs, dirty words and the demise of humanity, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart and drug-dependency problems, died at Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (9 p.m. EDT) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.



Known for his edgy, provocative material developed over 50 years, the bald, bearded Carlin achieved status as an anti-Establishment icon in the 1970s with stand-up bits full of drug references and a routine called "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television." A regulatory battle over a radio broadcast of the routine ultimately reached the U.S. Supreme Court."

George in one of his typical walking-the-edge routines. The v. end is particularly funny.



"God is one of the leading causes of death. Has been for a couple of thousand years."

RIP, George. We miss you already.



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Sunday, April 06, 2008

R.I.P, Taylor

Charlton Heston has died.

He's one of my all time faves. So sorry to see you go, mate.

:( :( :(




'LOS ANGELES - Charlton Heston, who won the 1959 best actor Oscar as the chariot-racing "Ben-Hur" and portrayed Moses, Michelangelo, El Cid and other heroic figures in movie epics of the '50s and '60s, has died. He was 84.
The actor died Saturday night at his home in Beverly Hills with his wife Lydia at his side, family spokesman Bill Powers said.'


'Heston revealed in 2002 that he had symptoms consistent with Alzheimer's disease, saying, "I must reconcile courage and surrender in equal measure."
With his large, muscular build, well-boned face and sonorous voice, Heston proved the ideal star during the period when Hollywood was filling movie screens with panoramas depicting the religious and historical past. "I have a face that belongs in another century," he often remarked.
Publicist Michael Levine, who represented Heston for about 20 years, said the actor's passing represented the end of an iconic era for cinema.
"If Hollywood had a Mt. Rushmore, Heston's face would be on it," Levine said. "He was a heroic figure that I don't think exists to the same degree in Hollywood today."'

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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Boy on!

Is it fucking possible that Eddie Izzard is just getting fucking sexier and sexier?


(here with Minni Driver)

Must. Netflix. The. Riches.
Here's a cool article on Eddie, America, transvestism, and the new show.
""I've always known that I was a transvestite," he says. "I fancy girls but I'm a wannabe lesbian. But I'm quite happy being a guy too. I don't do a big mental shift if I'm throwing on a dress.

"It's just a side of my sexuality, a side of my personality, a side of myself - and it's complicated. It's there all the time.

"I call it girl mode and boy mode. Like a superhero - like the Human Torch who can go, 'Flame on', and then he's in flames and then he goes 'Flame off', and he's not. In the same way, I can do 'Girl on' and 'Boy on'.""

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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

An anatomy lesson

So, yeah, Armani revealed the new underpants advert featuring footballer David Beckham:



I drooled over it as did all the women and gay blokes that I know. It's a cool advert.

It's David Beckham in his underpants.

Aye, but here's the thing. I happened to glance at the comments left here and was amused at the people who suggested that he'd been Photoshopped.

Hmmm.

See, I'm a wee bit of a penis aficionado (as well you know) and I'm confoozled.

While I'm sure the pic has been 'shopped to correct shading and blemishes and such, I see nothing to suggest that David's naughty bits, his meat and two veg, Vicki's giggle stick and the twins, has been altered.

Looks like a lovely example of standard issue equipment there. I mean, what are these folks looking at? Are they aware of what a man's equipment really looks like? Have they ever actually seen male genitalia from this angle - live and in person - as in this modest version below?


Or have all the examples they've seen been so depressingly small that Mr Beckham looks egregiously large?

(Not that, let me hasten to say, he looks undersized. I'm eyeballing a nice banger there - pun intended - but nothing freakish.)

I think that the doubters of the photo fall into two categories: 1) jealous men, and 2) that most bizarre of females who honestly has no idea what she's looking at here. She's the woman on my baby boards who (alarmingly) is pregnant, will be raising a child here soon, and seriously has no idea of the actual mechanics of conception, pregnancy, and birth. She had no clue as to what a cervix is or that she ovulated at some midpoint between periods. She sincerely believes that pissing into drain opening chemicals will accurately predict the sex of her child and she refers to her genitalia as "down there" and her husband's penis as his "thing".


People, that lovely, large, firm bulge facing the camera is a scrotum (enhanced and supported by Mr Armani's undoubtedly expensive drawers). Mr Beckham's johnson is laid neatly to his right hand side pointing away from the camera.

Bats come with balls. This accounts for most of the mass in most men's shorts. Something along the lines of this:



A purty scrotum is a wonderful thing. Awwwww ... doesn't it make ya just want to pet it?

-----

PS: have ya ever been surfing pictures of penises on the 'nets and come across one and think: "Say ... that looks just like so-and-so's ..."?

OK, it's just me I guess.

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Monday, October 01, 2007

Lois Maxwell dies



Miss Moneypenny, you will be desperately missed.


James Bond: "Moneypenny, what gives?"

Miss Moneypenny: "Me, given an ounce of encouragement."


I really should do some Bond t-shirts for the store. What a great fucking series of films (for the most part).


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Thursday, February 08, 2007

RIP Anna Nicole

Well, apparently Anna Nicole Smith has died. She was 39. That's like four fucking years younger than me.

Fuck.

I don't know a whole lot about her, as I don't watch telly and am not into most celebrity shit, but I will say that I always admired her not-skinny-as-a-fucking-prisoner-of-war figure.

If *I* had a body like this:



I'd go to the Wal Mart naked. I am not shitting you.

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