Bah!

Well, I'm having a crap-fucking-tastic day. Seriously. My life has sucked llama arsehole for 3 months now.

I have a gorgeous new son, who is doing fab; he's not the problem (or, indeed, A problem). It's me. I suck. I can't seem to organise myself. I don;t seem to have enough hours in my day. I can't seem to lose any fucking weight despite not eating anything. Fuck, if I eat I don't lose, if I *don't* eat I don't lose. Would that make it a lose-lose situation? Obviously fucking NOT.

I need to clean my house (it makes my head hurt to think about it), but I need to work on my shops. I need to work out in the barnyard, but I can't leave the house (wee people running about loose). I want to just get in the car and drive off sometimes. (But then I miss my kids so badly when I do go anywhere which is always the fucking grocery store. That's it. That's the only place I ever go. The grocery store. Where I buy food that I CAN'T FUCKING EAT. How sad is that?)

I wish I could just teleport myself to the beach for about 20 minutes. Just sit on the sand and listen to the ocean. Just be left alone, by myself, for 20 minutes.

Ahhhhhhh.

But, hey, I've been watching a new British telly show that I must recommend (I'm on a recommendation tear). It's called Black Books and is funny, light, and charming. If you like Britcom, you'll appreciate it, I think.

Ohh ... I also found this. I laughed so hard that Bud Light shot out of my nose. And that shite smarts. I am stunned at the overweening stupidity of which some humans are capable.

And to end on a penis note, 'cause I heart me some penis, I have decided that I am against excessive penis piercing. Honestly. I speak from my penis-loving wee heart. I hate to see something as fucking gorgous as a fine johnson disfigured by too many piercings.

(Now before any of you blows a seal, let me remind you that *I* am pierced, so I'm not anti-piercing. Pay attention.)

Check out this (really well done!) FAQ on penile piercings, here.

It's OK. I'll wait.

Hmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmmmmmm.

OK, are you back? You OK? You look a bit green around the gills ...

Shake it off! Did you see that first John Thomas? That was a lovely member! But all that hardware just detracted from the overall look. Maybe a Frenum ring (or barbell, right), or a Pubic barbell or a Scrotal, if you must, but leave that lovely long lad alone after that!

Thoughts?