The next available operator can eat my snatch
Ohhhh, I am HOT.
And I don't mean 'hot' as in HAWT! I mean I am steamed. Angry. Fucked the fuck off.
Check it:
I have had four babies (alas, probably my only ones, but that's a blog for another day). I have had these babies at the same fucking hospital, with the same fucking insurance, one baby per year, 2002 to 2005. I have a fucking file there, OK?
So, anyway, in 2004 I had a baby in April and was billed for eighty something dollars. I rang the hospital, spoke with a nice lady and was told that it had, indeed not been filed for that whatever-it-was, and that they'd take care of it.
Well today, over TWO COCKSUCKING YEARS later, I get a call from some bint who acts as if she's stoned AND stupid from Receivables Management Corporation on Shop Road in Columbia SC and am told that *I* have to work it out with the insurance company because it's been more than 1 year.
I ask the female to whom I'm speaking if I am correct in understanding that despite my own efforts *I* will have to do the legwork on what was an error on the hospital's part.
There was a loooooong silence.
I could hear her sucking her teeth or something.
Finally she sighs and says, profoundly: "Yeah"
She adds after another pause: "If you don't want this to stay in collections."
I told her that I would be taking care of it, wished her a nice day - albeit a bit tightly - and said goodbye.
I rang the fucking insurance and was cheerfully informed that since a year had passed they wouldn't pay it anyway.
Then I was stuck. It was 4:30. I'm stuck with the bill and stuck with not having any fucking idea who these fucking fucks are at the collections service.
Hmmmm ...
I rang the hospital, got the number and rang Receivables Management Corporation on Shop Road in Columbia SC home of telephone reps who simply fall into long silences when asked questions.
Before I go any further let me apprise you of something. I worked in a telemarketing firm for 10 years. I started out on the phone, was a trainer, a monitor, and ended up their telephone technician. I am VERY aware of all the details of how the phone should be answered and how the business works. Well I'm aware of how a GOOD company - like the one I worked for - has it done.
I rang the collections place at 4:50pm. First, the hold music was obnoxiously loud. Second, I got 'Jay' who just rerouted me to the "next available representative". After a bit, I got a female who didn't identify herself (that I caught.) I gave her my name and telephone number and she immediately said: "Please hold"
I waited, minutes ticking away on my cell, music blaring in my ear.
I waited about four and a half minutes when I glanced at the clock. It was one minute to 5:00. They close at 5.
I waited.
Suddenly, at 5:01 and 1/2 the music stopped. "Hello?" I said. The phone clicked dead.
That bitch cut me off. She put me on hold for SIX FUCKING MINUTES and at 5:00 she turned her phone off.
I rang back in a ... mood and left them a saccharine sweet message to ring me.
OK, Receivables Management Corporation, it's up to you. I will not ring you again. I'm trying to pay this fucking bill that I should NOT be paying and I will NOT be abused by your telephone customer service which fucking sucks a camel's asshole.
Thank you for calling Blue's Blog. You have a good day! Buh-bye!
And I don't mean 'hot' as in HAWT! I mean I am steamed. Angry. Fucked the fuck off.
Check it:
I have had four babies (alas, probably my only ones, but that's a blog for another day). I have had these babies at the same fucking hospital, with the same fucking insurance, one baby per year, 2002 to 2005. I have a fucking file there, OK?
So, anyway, in 2004 I had a baby in April and was billed for eighty something dollars. I rang the hospital, spoke with a nice lady and was told that it had, indeed not been filed for that whatever-it-was, and that they'd take care of it.
Well today, over TWO COCKSUCKING YEARS later, I get a call from some bint who acts as if she's stoned AND stupid from Receivables Management Corporation on Shop Road in Columbia SC and am told that *I* have to work it out with the insurance company because it's been more than 1 year.
I ask the female to whom I'm speaking if I am correct in understanding that despite my own efforts *I* will have to do the legwork on what was an error on the hospital's part.
There was a loooooong silence.
I could hear her sucking her teeth or something.
Finally she sighs and says, profoundly: "Yeah"
She adds after another pause: "If you don't want this to stay in collections."
I told her that I would be taking care of it, wished her a nice day - albeit a bit tightly - and said goodbye.
I rang the fucking insurance and was cheerfully informed that since a year had passed they wouldn't pay it anyway.
Then I was stuck. It was 4:30. I'm stuck with the bill and stuck with not having any fucking idea who these fucking fucks are at the collections service.
Hmmmm ...
I rang the hospital, got the number and rang Receivables Management Corporation on Shop Road in Columbia SC home of telephone reps who simply fall into long silences when asked questions.
Before I go any further let me apprise you of something. I worked in a telemarketing firm for 10 years. I started out on the phone, was a trainer, a monitor, and ended up their telephone technician. I am VERY aware of all the details of how the phone should be answered and how the business works. Well I'm aware of how a GOOD company - like the one I worked for - has it done.
I rang the collections place at 4:50pm. First, the hold music was obnoxiously loud. Second, I got 'Jay' who just rerouted me to the "next available representative". After a bit, I got a female who didn't identify herself (that I caught.) I gave her my name and telephone number and she immediately said: "Please hold"
I waited, minutes ticking away on my cell, music blaring in my ear.
I waited about four and a half minutes when I glanced at the clock. It was one minute to 5:00. They close at 5.
I waited.
Suddenly, at 5:01 and 1/2 the music stopped. "Hello?" I said. The phone clicked dead.
That bitch cut me off. She put me on hold for SIX FUCKING MINUTES and at 5:00 she turned her phone off.
I rang back in a ... mood and left them a saccharine sweet message to ring me.
OK, Receivables Management Corporation, it's up to you. I will not ring you again. I'm trying to pay this fucking bill that I should NOT be paying and I will NOT be abused by your telephone customer service which fucking sucks a camel's asshole.
Thank you for calling Blue's Blog. You have a good day! Buh-bye!
posted by MrsEvilGenius at 5:20 PM
9 Comments:
I feel your pain. I had a similar experience, only I spent TWO fucking years working with the accounting office at my clinic, insisting that only THEY deal with the insurance company (after all, THEY will get the money). Involved untold numbers of certified/return receipt letters, visits in person to the accounting office at the clinic, insistance on working ONLY with the manager of that office, and having her call, in my presence, the insurance company (funny, SHE didn't get put on hold). I documented every conversation, every visit, every phone call.
The whole time, I continued to get letters threatening collection from the very accounting office with which I was working! I just ignored them, knowing that because I was working with them, they wouldn't have a legal foot to stand on to send me to collections. But also, I had written a certified letter saying that I'd be more than willing to pay my share, but would not pay until they sent me an invoice showing insurance payment on the rest. Since they prefer to collect the whole amount (those collections folks have to get paid somehow, eh?), and I had shown my willingness to pay my share if only they'd file the insurance claim correctly, they chose to continue working with me and trying to collect from insurance.
Then, amazingly, in the third year, the letters stopped coming, and I heard nothing from insurance. I guess the clinic just wrote it off. But it sure as hell took way too much of my time. I mean, one of my pet peeves is wiping someone's else's ass when THEY make the stupid-ass mistake to begin with.
The mix-up that caused this drama? The nurse who filled out the ICD-9 codes on the form to go to the accounting office had included about $800 worth of bloodwork () which was completely unrelated to my physical exam that day as part of my physical exam, and insurance had, natch, denied it. When I pointed out to accounting that this was the problem, and that the physician would bear out that the bloodwork was related to an earlier visit for a separate issue, I was told, "Oh, what a silly mistake. We'll get that taken care of right away." I changed clinics. And told them why.
Sorry for the long comment. Even nearly 10 years later, I can still recall the frustration and anger at giving up my free time for two years.(Just don't get me started on insurance woes related to a mistaken worker's comp claim.)
There's a quote from the movie Jumpin' Jack Flash that I always want to paraphrase in situations like what you have described.
"You want a quarter??! Find me in New York for this fucking quarter!"
When it's your fault, you own it. When it's not, you work to solve the problem anyway because that's what nice people do. This principle, it seems, does not apply to corporations.
Vixen is right. Documentation of the process takes time and effort, but really helps in resolving the issue without affecting your credit rating or other such stupidity.
That thing with putting people on hold until the clock clicks 5pm seems to becoming common practice, and I think you were right to call and complain. I have NO patience for that crap, and I have taken it right back to them the next morning at 8am and I am NOT light about it. My time is worth more than theirs, and I'm more than capable of billing right back at them for wasting it.
There's a quote from the movie Jumpin' Jack Flash that I always want to paraphrase in situations like what you have described.
"You want a quarter??! Find me in New York for this fucking quarter!"
When it's your fault, you own it. When it's not, you work to solve the problem anyway because that's what nice people do. This principle, it seems, does not apply to corporations.
Vixen is right. Documentation of the process takes time and effort, but really helps in resolving the issue without affecting your credit rating or other such stupidity.
That thing with putting people on hold until the clock clicks 5pm seems to becoming common practice, and I think you were right to call and complain. I have NO patience for that crap, and I have taken it right back to them the next morning at 8am and I am NOT light about it. My time is worth more than theirs, and I'm more than capable of billing right back at them for wasting it.
I have a feeling insurance companies do that on purpose, to make it as difficult as possible for you to get them the to pay the f-ing bill they are supposed to f-ing pay. Saves them money to cut people off, you know, cuz then they don't have to pay someone to talk to you. I hate that.
Years ago, a hospital kept calling my (bed bound) mother to try to get her to pay a bill that was supposed to be covered by insurance.
She kept telling them that it should be covered and to do their jobs.
One lady finally called and told my mother that she was going to call every day until my mother paid the bill.
My bed bound asthmatic, emphysemic, congenital heart failure, mother.
My mother told her that that would be fine, as she needed someone to tell all her troubles to and since she couldn't afford a therapist, this would be a perfect solution.
She asked what time the lady would be calling every day, so as to have plenty of time to talk.
The lady hung up and we never heard from that insurance company again.
Good luck with these asshats.
"the next available operator..." rotflmao!
That sums up most call I have to make to our insurance company.
Usually it goes something like this...
~~I get a notice that a claim has been filed by a drs office, and that Aetna* will only cover 50% of the charges. (when they are suppost to cover 100%--bastards)
Then I call the customer service number for said insurance co. & have to speak to the computer on the other end so it may direct my call to the proper department wtf?--just let me speak to a real person-has this automated system ever actually helped anyone?
Hold music... finally a human and they usually try to tell me that the dr (someone in my family) saw isn't in network or some shit like that. (even tho I *always* call to verify each dr we see is in network;) )
Then I have to hold while s/he "checks on that". Everytime I have to do this they end up reprocessing the claim and telling me that "it was only covered at 50% due to a computer error--sorry for the inconvience..." Of course sometimes one call isn't enough or there's someother computer issue and I end up having to call back again...and again...
Good luck Blue--give them HELL!
I think Contrary's mom is one of the coolest people I've ever read a story about. :)
Dude, you know how to RANT. I felt better just reading it. I have nothing to be mad at today, but I still feel like I blew off some steam.
Don't ya wish you could pay for another extra feature on the phone "Reach Thru And Choke The Shit Out OF Them"? I would totally pay for that!!!
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