Port in a storm, any
I've become obsessed with fake sex parts.
Not sexual aids, per se, but ... fakes. Now some things are intended as sexual aids - RealDolls springs to mind - but I'm sure at least a few are purchased and never, erm ... used for whatever bizarre reason. Maybe it's used as a film prop or a work of art (which they are in a creepy, creepy way) or someone has some weird fucking fetish where they just need to dress them up (or tie them up [!!]) and don't ever actually complete a (standard) sex act , erm ... with it. Her. Him. Whatever.
(Let me insert [heh. I said 'insert'] here that the male dolls are just ... ugh. They totally squik me out. The face is weird [no offense to RealDolls - I think male faces are just harder (heh, i said ... oh nevermind)] ... where was I? Oh, and the chest muscles are not quite right. They look funky somehow.)
ANYway, i'm not at all averse to the random, well made sex toy, but what's up with this? I mean, no offense to anyone, especially Evil Genius Husband and the mighty Hammer of Auburn, but really ...
Why would I want to go to all that trouble (aside from getting to watch, fascinated, as someone attempted to maintian a hard-on with his memebr encased in gelatinous goo while keeping perfectly still) when I could just get this and have it shipped next day air? Come on now. I adore the original and the homemade fake just wouldn't, well, measure up.*
I've already talked about fake assholes (no, not some of my former co-workers or husbands, I mean real fake assholes) for medical training purposes and they have those for sexual use as well, along with a stunning variety of faux snatch. These are perfectly legitimate sex toys (although am I the only one who finds the image of a woman skillfully employing a latex willy to be unremarkable but the image of some dude humping an expensive plastic twat hysterically funny? OK, maybe it's just me.)
But what about fake boobs? Not the kind that are inserted into live women (I find those ridiculous. Honey, if you have two pads of fatty tissue surmounted by some nipples MOST guys are going to like it just fine), but these:
Having a Breast Emergency? Wife/girlfriend not around? Pop open a Tin O' Boob and go to town!
PS: get something classy to cover your tits, fake or otherwise: I now have the famous "Who lit the fuse on YOUR tampon?" from my sidebar on a T-shirt!! Check it out! Buy two! Tell a buddy! (thanks)
*nice save, eh?
Not sexual aids, per se, but ... fakes. Now some things are intended as sexual aids - RealDolls springs to mind - but I'm sure at least a few are purchased and never, erm ... used for whatever bizarre reason. Maybe it's used as a film prop or a work of art (which they are in a creepy, creepy way) or someone has some weird fucking fetish where they just need to dress them up (or tie them up [!!]) and don't ever actually complete a (standard) sex act , erm ... with it. Her. Him. Whatever.
(Let me insert [heh. I said 'insert'] here that the male dolls are just ... ugh. They totally squik me out. The face is weird [no offense to RealDolls - I think male faces are just harder (heh, i said ... oh nevermind)
ANYway, i'm not at all averse to the random, well made sex toy, but what's up with this? I mean, no offense to anyone, especially Evil Genius Husband and the mighty Hammer of Auburn, but really ...
Why would I want to go to all that trouble (aside from getting to watch, fascinated, as someone attempted to maintian a hard-on with his memebr encased in gelatinous goo while keeping perfectly still) when I could just get this and have it shipped next day air? Come on now. I adore the original and the homemade fake just wouldn't, well, measure up.*
I've already talked about fake assholes (no, not some of my former co-workers or husbands, I mean real fake assholes) for medical training purposes and they have those for sexual use as well, along with a stunning variety of faux snatch. These are perfectly legitimate sex toys (although am I the only one who finds the image of a woman skillfully employing a latex willy to be unremarkable but the image of some dude humping an expensive plastic twat hysterically funny? OK, maybe it's just me.)
But what about fake boobs? Not the kind that are inserted into live women (I find those ridiculous. Honey, if you have two pads of fatty tissue surmounted by some nipples MOST guys are going to like it just fine), but these:
(Check out the rather detailed 'review' of the product. He bought him some plastic tits and was disappointed that they didn't feel real! Awwww, sucks to be you.)
or these:
These last are by the talented RealDoll folks and are brilliant as stress balls (I should market two firm, egg-sized orbs in a hairy latex sack and call 'em ... Stress Balls. I'd make a fortune) and they'd make a nice - if expensive - gag gift, but are they sex toys? Or just fake, fondle-able tits? Do guys care?
Here's some for on-the-go:
Having a Breast Emergency? Wife/girlfriend not around? Pop open a Tin O' Boob and go to town!
PS: get something classy to cover your tits, fake or otherwise: I now have the famous "Who lit the fuse on YOUR tampon?" from my sidebar on a T-shirt!! Check it out! Buy two! Tell a buddy! (thanks)
*nice save, eh?
posted by MrsEvilGenius at 12:34 PM
6 Comments:
I like that thing-in-a-can thing, I'm envisioning all the other items that can be placed in a can for emergencies. One on my desk here at work would do well, but I'd probably get fired for harrassment, if bringing up the pics on your site doesn't do it.
Ok, one assumes that if I have access to a penis to make a rubber mold of it, that I have access to it for other things. Things I would rather do with the real thing.
Until they invent a male doll that has workable hips, I'm just not interested. Actually, not even then, as I'm afraid it would ruin the mood for me and my 'partner' when I dissolved in giggles and snorts.
OK I just spent WAY too much time perusing those sites and with awe and fascination. And I DID laugh when you said insert and hard - I am so juvenile.
Blue, you crack me up. That's really all I can say about that.....
Yes, Contrary - one would think that having access to the real thing precludes the need for a duplicate. But I agree with Blue - the opportunity to watch the duplication process might just be worth it...
Check out this RealDoll action site and see what I think people should really be using these dolls for.
Blue you have a sick sense of humor and I like it .... ? So what does that say about me?
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