We heart the chinchi !

OK, so it turns out our ancient ancestresses knew what to do when Gok was gone all those months hunting the woolly mammoth ...

Yep, you're looking at a prehistoric dildo. Yeah, yeah I know this is old news - I've actually had the pic for months - but, hey, ancient phalluses are cool! Say it with me (it's fun!): "Prehistoric Dildoes" Doesn't that sound all official? Wouldn't that make a great fucking name for a band?!

I love the word dildo. It has such a happy, friendly sound. Even calling someone that as an insult is kind of cuddly, like you're just joking or using it between (!) friends: "'C'mere ya big dildo!"

Here's one from china, cast in bronze. Whew, realistic, eh? It'd be a bit chilly, though ...

Of course there is much speculation about the prehistoric stone phallus's use, we can't be sure it was a sex aid. It could have been used in ritual or as a fertility symbol. Then again, it shows signs of having been used to knap flints (sharpen weapons or tools) and what are the chances that they'd use a religious object for so mundane a task?

I say it's more likely Gok picked the family up and moved and fucking forgot his knapping stone and my much beleaguered ancestress had to pull out (heh) her little buddy or the goddamn kids would starve for lack of meat.

-----

So I've decided where I want to go on holiday next year: Japan.

Welcome to Kanamara Matsuri, the festival of the steel phallus. How cool is that?! It's a combo fertility thingy, gay and lesbian celebration and general wild street party. I think I'd fit right in. You can buy, ride or touch various penis effigies for good luck: a placard under one display reads: "Please touch the woody penis"

Oh, well, if you insist ...

Why does my Lowes not carry these? I'm seriously fucked off here. I'm going to write the company and demand to know why they don't stock them.


And I so want one of these in my backyard! Imagine being the guy who makes these. Now that's my idea of a master craftsman. "So what do you do?" "I carve out gigantic wooden penises" "SWEET!"


This is my chosen profession: penis caddy. Heh, that sounded so dirty. Well, I get to heft Evil Genius Husband's member, the mighty Hammer of Auburn, on a regular basis ... that qualifies me, right?

-----

PS: there's some great new bloggers on my blogroll at the right ===>>
Check 'em! There's also a new Separation Boundary up for your perusal.