Fuck being sick!
Pardon me in advance. It seems like every word out of my mouth today has been just one long, seamless whine.
I hate being ill. I mean I. HATE. It.
Number one: I have asthma, so every illness brings with it that familiar choke-hold on my trachea.
Number two: I have the World's Worst Immune System. It's more like an Immune Thought rather than a system, or as Eddie Izzard might say: an Immune Gesture. I only have the two white blood cells and they can't be everywhere at once, for fuck's sake.
I never just 'get the sniffles'. If I get sick, I get REALLY sick. I get a head cold (sinus infection optional but recommended), a chest cold, sore throat, lose my voice, hack, snort, wheeze ... The whole load.
Number three: my colds are always so terribly terribly well planned - by the Dark Forces of Snot. I invariably get ill a few times during my pregnancies (preferred timing: early, while morning sickness is in full ... bloom, and late, when the pressures on my internal organs from a 9-10 lb baby - and accompanying alien slime - is at it's maximum.)
Number four: I can't take the really good drugs (read: NyQuil) as I have little small people to tend to 24/7 (what if someone were to really need me in the small hours and I was sleeping the sleep of the Green Death Fucking Flavour?)
So here I am. Post surgery ('scope on my knee Thursday), in large pain, hobbling about, wincing; ill, snorting, snotting, coughing, etc; and hovering around behind the children (close, but not too close!) hoping they don't get sick (so far we've had a 24 hour slight sniffle in one specimen, and some mild snot in another one, spit three times and splooge at the moon.)
And I'm fucking cold! I've been cold all day. Are you cold? It's fucking freezing in here!
Not a happy fucking camper right now! *koff*koff*koff* Not happy at all.
*insert adorable, piteous pout here*
I hate being ill. I mean I. HATE. It.
Number one: I have asthma, so every illness brings with it that familiar choke-hold on my trachea.
Number two: I have the World's Worst Immune System. It's more like an Immune Thought rather than a system, or as Eddie Izzard might say: an Immune Gesture. I only have the two white blood cells and they can't be everywhere at once, for fuck's sake.
I never just 'get the sniffles'. If I get sick, I get REALLY sick. I get a head cold (sinus infection optional but recommended), a chest cold, sore throat, lose my voice, hack, snort, wheeze ... The whole load.
Number three: my colds are always so terribly terribly well planned - by the Dark Forces of Snot. I invariably get ill a few times during my pregnancies (preferred timing: early, while morning sickness is in full ... bloom, and late, when the pressures on my internal organs from a 9-10 lb baby - and accompanying alien slime - is at it's maximum.)
Number four: I can't take the really good drugs (read: NyQuil) as I have little small people to tend to 24/7 (what if someone were to really need me in the small hours and I was sleeping the sleep of the Green Death Fucking Flavour?)
So here I am. Post surgery ('scope on my knee Thursday), in large pain, hobbling about, wincing; ill, snorting, snotting, coughing, etc; and hovering around behind the children (close, but not too close!) hoping they don't get sick (so far we've had a 24 hour slight sniffle in one specimen, and some mild snot in another one, spit three times and splooge at the moon.)
And I'm fucking cold! I've been cold all day. Are you cold? It's fucking freezing in here!
Not a happy fucking camper right now! *koff*koff*koff* Not happy at all.
*insert adorable, piteous pout here*
posted by MrsEvilGenius at 5:05 PM
3 Comments:
Hang in there Blue. You have my complete sympathy. I suffered from asthma from about age 12 through 20, but finally subdued it with exercise. That's a damn hard thing to do, since exercise (among other things) induced an attack. People who don't have asthma cannot begin to comprehend what it feels like to not be able to take anything but shallow, gasping breaths. It's fucking aweful! Be strong!
I have complete sympathy. My own immune system has always been more "non-existent" than anything else. In fact, I've had the flu for 15 days now, and I'm very sick of running for the bathroom at semi-regular intervals.
I've asked my husband a few time if I could borrow a cup of white blood cells, but he refuses to share, the selfish bastard. (He never gets sick. *sulk*)
Here's my second favorite blog: http://www.softgreenglow.com/mt/blog/ If you read it every day it'll make you feel better. Third favorite is http://www.masamania.com.
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