Can I pencil you in?
OK, two things. First:
Yeah bayBEE! Ahm an Amurrican! Gollee-bob-howdy! More Bar-B-Que anyone?
And second:
I surfed over here one day and there was fucking anime on my Google Adsense advert! Gah! My eyes! Make it stop! It's (almost) not worth the 1/7th of a cent I get for every click (subliminal message follows: Click the advert. Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeease! Thank you.).
*twitch*
----
So, I'm sorry about the spotty posts. The sad truth is that I'm a bit more consumed with mommy things right now, stuff that would bore the shit out of you guys. Hell, stuff that bores the shit out of me - some of it. It'll get more interesting. I have to get the surgery on my knee (assuming I don't catch some more of Evil Genius Husband's Power Sperm and turn up preggers again).
So ... erm ... speaking of sperm: let's talk about sex! Are you getting enough sex? 'Cause I'm not getting enough sex. Let me hasten to explain that this is through no fault of Evil Genius Husband's. As far as I'm aware, his one-eyed python of love, the mighty Hammer of Auburn, is always at the ready - nay, is poised - awaiting my go-ahead.
The problem is scheduling. Can't shag when he's at work (Duh. Fuck that whole having-to-work-for-a-living shit. Are the Conducters of the Universe not aware that he takes my penis with him when he leaves? Hellooo! Power tools are lovely but they can't beat a real live Johnson.) and you can't shag when The Brood is up.
So that leaves after 7pm. This is normally not a problem except that now we have our new addition and, though adorable, he 1) makes mommy very tired and 2) has uncanny timing. Astonishing. Spectacular. Amazing, even. He could have his own Marvel comic. Seriously.
This kid can predict the exact moment in time where I might experience some pleasure (for me that'd pretty much be eating and shagging. Hey, I don't smoke, do drugs, or get to pummel every asshole I encounter - so whaddaya want? I'm easy to entertain.)
Then he wakes up. And he always has the same list of demands before he'll consider releasing the hostage: gormet meal (boobie), new suit (nappie), drugs (anti-gassy stuff),and cuddle with a voluptuous woman (well, duh).
All of this takes a while and by the time he's satiated I'm ready for a nap and my lovely warm juicy $10 T-bone steak that my Evil Genius Husband grilled for me is a slab of chilly dead flesh. This is how much I love my son. Cold steak. Expensive cold steak. Limited sex. I plan on bringing this back up when he's a teen-ager, too, damnit. Even the sex part.
Do you think that only doing the nasty once a week is making me crabby, or what?
| You Are 82% American |
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Yeah bayBEE! Ahm an Amurrican! Gollee-bob-howdy! More Bar-B-Que anyone?
And second:
I surfed over here one day and there was fucking anime on my Google Adsense advert! Gah! My eyes! Make it stop! It's (almost) not worth the 1/7th of a cent I get for every click (subliminal message follows: Click the advert. Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeease! Thank you.).
*twitch*
----
So, I'm sorry about the spotty posts. The sad truth is that I'm a bit more consumed with mommy things right now, stuff that would bore the shit out of you guys. Hell, stuff that bores the shit out of me - some of it. It'll get more interesting. I have to get the surgery on my knee (assuming I don't catch some more of Evil Genius Husband's Power Sperm and turn up preggers again).
So ... erm ... speaking of sperm: let's talk about sex! Are you getting enough sex? 'Cause I'm not getting enough sex. Let me hasten to explain that this is through no fault of Evil Genius Husband's. As far as I'm aware, his one-eyed python of love, the mighty Hammer of Auburn, is always at the ready - nay, is poised - awaiting my go-ahead.
The problem is scheduling. Can't shag when he's at work (Duh. Fuck that whole having-to-work-for-a-living shit. Are the Conducters of the Universe not aware that he takes my penis with him when he leaves? Hellooo! Power tools are lovely but they can't beat a real live Johnson.) and you can't shag when The Brood is up.
So that leaves after 7pm. This is normally not a problem except that now we have our new addition and, though adorable, he 1) makes mommy very tired and 2) has uncanny timing. Astonishing. Spectacular. Amazing, even. He could have his own Marvel comic. Seriously.
This kid can predict the exact moment in time where I might experience some pleasure (for me that'd pretty much be eating and shagging. Hey, I don't smoke, do drugs, or get to pummel every asshole I encounter - so whaddaya want? I'm easy to entertain.)
Then he wakes up. And he always has the same list of demands before he'll consider releasing the hostage: gormet meal (boobie), new suit (nappie), drugs (anti-gassy stuff),and cuddle with a voluptuous woman (well, duh).
All of this takes a while and by the time he's satiated I'm ready for a nap and my lovely warm juicy $10 T-bone steak that my Evil Genius Husband grilled for me is a slab of chilly dead flesh. This is how much I love my son. Cold steak. Expensive cold steak. Limited sex. I plan on bringing this back up when he's a teen-ager, too, damnit. Even the sex part.
Do you think that only doing the nasty once a week is making me crabby, or what?
posted by MrsEvilGenius at 11:23 AM
5 Comments:
Hah - too funny. Wait till it's once a month or less, you'll look back on this and wish oyu could turn back time.... {sigh}
Nahhh - it's the $10 cold meat. Can you pump and have DH feed him while you chew on the cow flesh? Or just do both at once? Hey it is possible...
I meant meat and sex of course...
Haven't done the nasty in 4 months now and there are no kids or any other excuse for it other than the complete lack of sexual desire of the wife. She is so lucky I have the patience of a saint. But even that is wearing mighty thin. So be glad for once a week. It could be much worse.
I havne't had it in 2 years, well because of a lack of a boyfriend, so yeah just think of that.
-Love Lori!
Blue, if lack of sex made one cranky, I would be the most angry person alive.
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