Coca Cola is trying to kill me
Or drive me insane ...
Ever heard the old joke about "put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner"? Well I feel like this right now. What's up with Coke? Is there any other combination of Diet Coke ingredients left to ostensibly test out on me?
What's the difference between this and oh, say, DIET FUCKING COKE?? Zero? Zero what? Diet Coke also has zero carbs, zero fat, zero calories. What the Blue Fuck?
I faithfully tried all the others. I swear I did. Diet Lime Coke, Diet Lemon Coke, Diet Cherry Coke, Diet Watermelon Coke ... ok, I made that last one up but I wonder. What's next? Diet Rhubarb Coke? Diet Coke with Absinthe? Ok, well, this last one would probably go over pretty well.
Incidentally, this new concoction tastes better than Diet Coke with Ass (otherwise known as the one with Splenda), kind of a cross between diet and regular. Either that or I'm hallucinating and it's all the same shit in different bottles and you only taste what the lable 'suggests' you taste.
Hey, that has all the makings of a good conspiracy theory. I must tell my liberal friends.
----
So, in your opinion, what is the first piece of music your baby should be exposed to? Classical? I’m a huge fan of Mozart and Wagner, myself. The soft strains of his crib mobile, often a classic as well (usually Brahms lullaby) is a fine first choice.
Not my kid.
In the absence of having been blasted by one of my fave CDs on the ride home from the hospital (Bloodhound Gang? Creed? Sir Mix-a-lot?), we all watched a DVD Wednesday while daddy trecked out into the wilderness for the Weekly Comic Run. So my new son's first musical treat was 'Asshole' by Denis Leary. Is it wrong that my toddlers can both sing this song well? Including the spelling out part (hey, it's educational!): A! S-S! H-O! L-E! Everybody!
"I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it"
Ever heard the old joke about "put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner"? Well I feel like this right now. What's up with Coke? Is there any other combination of Diet Coke ingredients left to ostensibly test out on me?
What's the difference between this and oh, say, DIET FUCKING COKE?? Zero? Zero what? Diet Coke also has zero carbs, zero fat, zero calories. What the Blue Fuck?
I faithfully tried all the others. I swear I did. Diet Lime Coke, Diet Lemon Coke, Diet Cherry Coke, Diet Watermelon Coke ... ok, I made that last one up but I wonder. What's next? Diet Rhubarb Coke? Diet Coke with Absinthe? Ok, well, this last one would probably go over pretty well.
Incidentally, this new concoction tastes better than Diet Coke with Ass (otherwise known as the one with Splenda), kind of a cross between diet and regular. Either that or I'm hallucinating and it's all the same shit in different bottles and you only taste what the lable 'suggests' you taste.
Hey, that has all the makings of a good conspiracy theory. I must tell my liberal friends.
----
So, in your opinion, what is the first piece of music your baby should be exposed to? Classical? I’m a huge fan of Mozart and Wagner, myself. The soft strains of his crib mobile, often a classic as well (usually Brahms lullaby) is a fine first choice.
Not my kid.
In the absence of having been blasted by one of my fave CDs on the ride home from the hospital (Bloodhound Gang? Creed? Sir Mix-a-lot?), we all watched a DVD Wednesday while daddy trecked out into the wilderness for the Weekly Comic Run. So my new son's first musical treat was 'Asshole' by Denis Leary. Is it wrong that my toddlers can both sing this song well? Including the spelling out part (hey, it's educational!): A! S-S! H-O! L-E! Everybody!
"I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it"
posted by MrsEvilGenius at 4:56 PM
4 Comments:
Have you seen Meet The Fockers? There is a classic scene where Ben Stiller is babysitting his future nephew and he says that 'asshole' and the baby picks up on it. It is soooo hilarious.
Hi Blue!
You haven't loss you touch ROTFLMAO at your posts. I strongly suggest some Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc.
When my 12 yo was just a wee babe we were out driving around looking for a house - Ironman came on the radio and he just was head banging in his lil carseat. I was so proud.
You could always get him ready for life in the South with a lil Skynnard....
I believe Dynamite Hack would be quite good, or perhaps Buckethead. Or maybe Dylan (naa, that'd probably screw a person up for life). Or maybe some old PP&M (Bought a candy bar the other day, only ate half gonna throw the rest away, when I saw this kid.....). Or Dave Van Ronk (RIP).
Regarding Coke Zero, it is what Diet Coke in it's current incarnation will become when they switch diet coke over to the Splenda version.
so you're right, there is no difference at all. Duplicitious, yes, but at least they realized that some people think the new Splenda diet coke tastes like ass...
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