Nightmare on Blue's street

Some blogs make me cry, some make me shake with outrage, and some make me laugh until I snort Diet Coke out of my nose. Danny over at Human Writes does the latter.

I noticed that John over at Deep Roasted Flavour tinkered with his code and improved the look of his blog and I really like it. So somebody gimme a hand here … I recognize HTML in the code but what’s that other shit? And no, I haven’t checked out Blogger Help yet, well, ‘cause I’m a lazy cunt. Can anyone out there give it to me fast and dirty? *blinks innocently* Talking about how to alter the code, of course.

Whoops ... forgot something. If you're in the mood for one of my mindless rants, check it.


Now on to today's blog already in progress:


I never dream.

Well, let me clarify … I have never had (or remembered) what I’d call a dream. I only have nightmares.

I’m not saying this to be dramatic or funny, it’s true. As long as I can remember every single dream I have ever had was frightenting or deeply disturbing. This is aided by my having recurring dreams. I actually only have about 10 ‘dream sets’ where my nightmares take place. All of my dreams ‘occur’ in these few places and they’re always terrifying, always disproportionally large and, weirdly, always dark.

The enormous empty city, the big old house (with the room that I’m drawn to but which terrifys me), the warren-like office bulding - or it's subset: tunnel-like basements that I'm forced to crawl through.

Some fear inducing elements are straightforward: the city block sized pool of water that's black like ink and hides massive swimming creatures. Some are just disturbing: the filth encrusted toilet (can you say 'Trainspotting'?) that I have to use. Some are obviously scary elements of other people's subconcious as well: draped and billowing sheets of plastic (Flatliners, Night Watch).

My earliest remembered nightmare is of a large group of people in a huge cave but we can’t get out because the opening is blocked by a towering monster/sasquatch/ape thing.

My latest ones (predictably) feature my children in peril. The latest offering being one where I have a flat in my old Nissan Pick-up and my older two are with me. In the dream I leave them in the truck while I walk the several miles back home. Then, as I'm trying to get another car started, my oldest - who's only 3 - appears and I'm awash with horror and fear as I realize that that means that his 2 year old sister is somewhere, scared and alone, and probably walking by the side of a busy road. I woke up hyperventilating and wet with sweat.

Now my question to you is this: why does your brain do this to you? Is this supposed to make me a better mother? Trust me, I have a hard time leaving my children in the care of their own father! Or is it a manifestation of that paranoia?

Why do you think we have nightmares? What's your scariest one? Do you have recurring dreams as well? Please comment if you have the urge: I'd really love to know.