Pregnancy of an aging pastry addict
Pregnant at 40.
*muse*muse*mutter*muse*
Is it physically difficult? Not for me. I have great pregnancies. I am no more sick or sore or tired this time than I was when I had my first at 37. Not that I'm not tired, mind. Tiredness comes with pregnancy. After all, I'm creating an entire new human being from scratch with only a half a strand of DNA and - in my case - lots of chinese food and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Mmmm. Doughnuts.
My situation has changed a bit. I have a wonkey knee that STILL has not been fixed and I can't work because of it (and I'm getting NO sodding income from Workers Comp thank you very fucking much My Employers Suckass Insurance Company, I hope you all get a cramp in your nether regions.) But I've had the knee pain for so long that I'm used to it. My friend the pain. The pain that never goes away. My buddy.
So, (channelling Denis Leary) what's the problem?
I'm getting scared.
I wonder if top athletes begin to feel this way as they age? That they'll go out there to compete and they'll embarrass themselves? That they'll fail?
I've no fear of failing as a mother - well, no more than average. I fear that I'll fail at babymaking. That because of my age something will go wrong. My ancient uterus, my decrepit eggs, my vintage cervix. KABLOOEY!
My sticking point is the barrage of tests. Not the tests themselves, but the growing uncertainty of the results. And there's a heap of tests. The CVS, the AFP, Triple Screen, Quad Screen, Level II ultrasound, Amnio. All designed to predict your chances of having a baby with a problem or actually determine that your baby does, indeed, have a problem. And - say it with me now - the risk of problems caused by genetic abnormalities increases with age.
It's becoming an ever-consuming obsession and has come to an ugly head with that horrible number: 40.
Well, at least I get to ease up on my fevered mind for a bit now: I got the results of my amnio for this pregnancy (the 4th amnio I've gotten in my brief reproductive career and the fourth nail-gnawing 2 week wait) and everything is fine. My second son and fourth child, due in June, will have to come up with something else to antagonize me with.
In the meantime I wonder how long can I risk it? How far can I push it? This chronological limbo: How old can ya go? How old can ya go?
Hmmm. I need a doughnut.
*muse*muse*mutter*muse*
Is it physically difficult? Not for me. I have great pregnancies. I am no more sick or sore or tired this time than I was when I had my first at 37. Not that I'm not tired, mind. Tiredness comes with pregnancy. After all, I'm creating an entire new human being from scratch with only a half a strand of DNA and - in my case - lots of chinese food and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Mmmm. Doughnuts.
My situation has changed a bit. I have a wonkey knee that STILL has not been fixed and I can't work because of it (and I'm getting NO sodding income from Workers Comp thank you very fucking much My Employers Suckass Insurance Company, I hope you all get a cramp in your nether regions.) But I've had the knee pain for so long that I'm used to it. My friend the pain. The pain that never goes away. My buddy.
So, (channelling Denis Leary) what's the problem?
I'm getting scared.
I wonder if top athletes begin to feel this way as they age? That they'll go out there to compete and they'll embarrass themselves? That they'll fail?
I've no fear of failing as a mother - well, no more than average. I fear that I'll fail at babymaking. That because of my age something will go wrong. My ancient uterus, my decrepit eggs, my vintage cervix. KABLOOEY!
My sticking point is the barrage of tests. Not the tests themselves, but the growing uncertainty of the results. And there's a heap of tests. The CVS, the AFP, Triple Screen, Quad Screen, Level II ultrasound, Amnio. All designed to predict your chances of having a baby with a problem or actually determine that your baby does, indeed, have a problem. And - say it with me now - the risk of problems caused by genetic abnormalities increases with age.
It's becoming an ever-consuming obsession and has come to an ugly head with that horrible number: 40.
Well, at least I get to ease up on my fevered mind for a bit now: I got the results of my amnio for this pregnancy (the 4th amnio I've gotten in my brief reproductive career and the fourth nail-gnawing 2 week wait) and everything is fine. My second son and fourth child, due in June, will have to come up with something else to antagonize me with.
In the meantime I wonder how long can I risk it? How far can I push it? This chronological limbo: How old can ya go? How old can ya go?
Hmmm. I need a doughnut.
posted by MrsEvilGenius at 1:15 PM
1 Comments:
So glad to hear your amnio results came back fine! It's hard enough getting through pregnancy at any age - there's always something to worry about. I think it's just in our nature. And while you may feel like you're on the late end of the scale, think of how many others who are older than you have perfectly healthy and happy babies. You'll be just fine! (((hugs)))
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